How to Heal Your Fear of Abandonment



My dear, when you enter the fear of abandonment, it transforms you internally and becomes a sense of depression.  When this depression surfaces, it becomes difficult for you to focus.  It is challenging for you to be present in your life.

To heal this fear, we would like you to first take a deep relaxing breath, my dear.  Imagine that the Universe is breathing you.  Allow your body to come into peace.  You have nothing to do.  Just BE in this moment.

Now imagine, my dear, that you are in a Bubble.  Allow your childhood imagination to create around you a Bubble.  It may help you to imagine that you blow a huge multicolored soap Bubble and step easily into it.

You are the only person in your Bubble.  Imagine there is no one near you.  Imagine you are just by your Self in a Bubble. Know, my dear, that this Bubble is your energy field.

We want you, my dear, to pay attention to the energy that you can feel in your energy field.  Is it heavy?  Is it light?  Is your Bubble small or large?

When your energy is heavy and your Bubble is small, it means, my dear, that you are in ‘protection’ mode.  You are trying to protect your Self from emotional pain.  Does this work for you?

No.  It cuts you off from connecting with other beings.

We want you to take a moment to allow your Bubble to expand.  Tap into your childhood imagination once more and imagine that your Bubble gently expands.  We want you to allow your Bubble, my dear, to be at least as large as the room you are in.

Notice that as you allow your Bubble to expand, your body becomes more peaceful.  Your mind becomes more clear.  Your emotions become more calm.

My dear, we want you to imagine that your Bubble easily doubles in size.  Allow it to be easy.  Your body becomes more peaceful.  Your mind more clear.  Your emotions more calm.

Allow your Bubble to continue expanding until it is as large as Mother Earth.  Allow it to be easy.

Allow your Bubble to expand until it is as large as the Universe, and beyond.  Allow it to be easy.

My dear when you allow your Bubble to be this large, notice what happens to your emotional being.

The things that were so pressing are not as important.  They come into perspective.

From this state of being, allow your consciousness, your awareness, to go into your body.  Find the place in your body, my dear, where the emotion of ‘fear of abandonment’ is stored.  Where do you hold it in your body?  Allow your Self to know where you hold it before you read on.

If it’s in your base chakra, the base of your spine, that is the chakra of your connection to this life.  It’s where, when you were a child and your felt abandoned, you placed that pain.  It has kept you from being fully present in your life.

If it’s in your belly, that is the chakra of your childhood emotions.  It’s where, when you were a child and your felt abandoned, you felt that pain.  How did, or does, it manifest itself today in your belly?

If it’s in your solar plexus, that is the chakra for your life path.  You have a fear of failing along your road of life.

If it’s in your heart, you became an adult while you were still a child. You took on the responsibilities of an adult and skipped over your childhood.  You are quite serious about life.

If it’s in your throat, you have difficulty speaking your truth, sharing your fears,  with others.

If you find it in your third eye, you have closed off your clairvoyance – your innate ability to see the truth.

If you placed it in your crown chakra, you have the habit of shutting your Self off from the energies of the Universe.

Yes, you may have healed this fear of abandonment during your life to some extent, and there is healing yet to be done. My dear, when there is healing yet to be done, your life will set it up so that you will enter that fear once more so you can heal it at a deeper level.

In this moment of your life, when you enter fear of abandonment…whether the abandonment is real or whether it’s emotional and imaginary makes no difference.  It is real to your energy field.

We want you to find this energy, the fear of abandonment, in your body and give it a symbol.  You will feel like you’re making this up.  Allow it.

What does this energy in your body look like?   What color is it?  How large is it?  What is it made of?  Is it a clear energy field?  Stone?  Wooden?  A cloud?  Allow it to be easy.

Once you have given this energy a symbol…

Allow this symbol to float out of your body.  Allow it to be suspended in front of you within your Bubble so you can speak to it.  If there are any strings of energy between the symbol and the body, imagine that you can cut them, and all of the energy goes into the symbol.  Do not let the symbol go.  We want you to speak to it.

Once the symbol is suspended in front of you, notice how your body feels when it is without that energy.

Ask this symbol suspended in front of you, how old you were when you first brought it to your Self.  Allow it to speak to you.  Don’t know the answer.  Let it tell you.  Hold old were you?

Some of you came in with this energy in this lifetime to heal it.  Some of you brought the energy into your life during childhood.

The fear of abandonment has been a pattern for you in this lifetime over and over again, has it not?

We want you to ask the symbol why it came to you in this life.  What is it about?  What are you to learn from this fear?  What does the symbol, the energy of fear,  tell you?

As you have experienced the fear of abandonment, it has enhanced your compassion for others who are feeling abandoned, has it not?  The major reason it came to you is to help you enhance your compassion for those who feel, or have felt, abandoned.

We call this ‘learning through opposites.’  That is – you experience the opposite (fear) of what you want to learn or enhance (compassion).  It is the most effective method of learning.

Ask the symbol if you have learned all you need to learn and if you are ready now to become complete with this lesson?  If the symbol says, ‘not yet’ it means there is still fear in there.  What is the fear about?  Is it the fear of failure?

When you are ready, we want you to imagine that it is now, in this moment, time to heal the fear of abandonment…transforming the energy into compassion for those who fear abandonment.  Just allow your Self to imagine it.

Then imagine that this symbol transforms into an energy that represents your healing…the transformation from fear into compassion.  What does the form trans-form into?  What is the shape?  Size?  Color?

If it contains pink, you are wanting, and able to give/receive, more love in your life.  If it contains blue, you are wanting, and able to give/receive, more peace in your life.  Green…more healing.  Yellow…more joy.  Red…more passion for your life path.

Ask this energy what it represents?  The original symbol represented fear of abandonment.  Ask this symbol what it represents.  What does it say to you?  It may represent several things to you.  Compassion.  What else?

One of the energies it represents may be freedom.  Freedom is a huge word. It is freedom from fear of abandonment.  It is also a sense of freedom that is beyond description.  It’s an energy of freedom.  It’s a freedom that your language does not have words to represent.

Allow this transformed energy, which represents your healing, to now come into your body where you once held the energy of fear.  Allow it to re-place the energy of fear.

Notice how your body changes when you bring that energy into it.  This is a healing moment for you.  Simply f-e-e-l it.  Just BE it.

Allowing your Bubble to be as large as the Universe and this energy of healing to be in your body, imagine now going into tomorrow with this energy…compared to yesterday when you carried the energy of fear of abandonment.

In your imagination, go to tomorrow in the energy of healing.

How is your day different tomorrow?  Allow it to be easy to let your childhood imagination create the day.  Your imagination is the key to your subconscious.  Your subconscious controls your perceptions and creates your moments.  Allow it to be easy.  And it is so.

Energy transformation and imagination are tools you can use daily to allow your life to be easy.

Imagine now going through the week in this energy.

We want you to know that if you maintain this trans-formed energy 24 hours a day, 7 days a week for the next week, nonstop, that you have created a miracle.

Probably the fear of abandonment will return.  When you are aware that it has returned, what do you do?  Instead of criticizing your Self…

– Take a deep, relaxing breath.
– Allow the Universe to breathe you.
– Allow your Bubble to expand to the size of the Universe, and beyond…or as large as is comfortable for you.
– Trans-form the symbol of fear into your symbol for healing fear.
– Return to compassion.
– Allow it to be easy.  Feel it.  BE it.

You can do this over and over again.  What happens, my dear, is that every time you do it, it lasts longer.  It’s easier.  It’s quicker.  Until it becomes your new habit.  Your new way of Being.

We wish for you that instead of criticizing your Self, if you find yourself in fear of abandonment, say to your Self  “Ha! Ha! Ha!  That’s my old habit.  That’s the way I used to be.”

Trans-form, with your enlarged Bubble, returning to healing, compassion, freedom.

Allow it to be easy.
And it is so.



I would love to hear from you.  You can leave me a note here.

With love and gratitude,

About Connie Russert, M.S.

In 1985 I discovered that I have a gift - the ability to connect with Master Spirit Guides and deliver deeply healing messages and profound spiritual wisdom. I have been honored and privileged to be able to deliver channeling services to spiritual seekers around the globe. I am currently retired from personal channeling and dedicating my time to writing.
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7 Responses to How to Heal Your Fear of Abandonment

  1. Amy Greeson says:

    Really great ! Thanks Connie 😉

  2. Thanks so much Amy. Fear of abandonment is such a universal emotion for us. I hope this can help those folks who are ready to heal. Sending you much love, Connie

  3. Mary Droutsas says:

    An interesting article and it does help me understand more how to use bubble etc. (~’~)

  4. Connie says:

    Oh Mary, thank you so much for letting me know how this Message from Paularyo helps you. Teaching us how to transform the fear of rejection (any fear) into an energy that allow us to move forward in the energy of peace and ease is Paularyo’s purpose. Your energy Bubble is one of the most important tools you can use to allow your transformation, your life, to be easy. Mary, I’m so pleased that this Message helps you to better understand how to use your Bubble for your own personal healing. My wish for you is to “Allow it to be easy!” Sending you warm Ka hugs. 🙂

  5. Kenneth says:

    Thank you very much for this message. It helps me a lot in understanding my fear of abandonment.

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